I'd Rather Just Bitch About It

     There are lots of things in my life that I do not like, cannot stand, or just flat out hate.  Many of these things are easily fixed and very petty but still, they irk me.  I could spend the time it would take me to fix them, or I could get over them.  I usually do both.  But either way, I'm bitching about it.  I thought I'd share some of these things with you.
     My mom was, while I was growing up, and still is, the crocodile hunter of Northern California.  Also known as Ellie Mae Clampet or Miss Barton If You're Nasty.  Growing up we had at one point, 15 cats, 4 dogs, a 6 foot Nile Monitor Lizard, and pet rats that she bred.  That was all at once.  We also had: chickens, ducks, frogs, birds, mice, snakes (we fed them the mice), various lizards that my brothers and I would catch and put in tanks or exotic ones she bought, guinea pigs, rabbits, caterpillars we would catch and watch them cocoon and become winged creatures of various species, a bat she rescued from a barn,  opossoms she caught in the yard, oh and a horse.  She taught us kids the meaning of respecting all life.  Would never let us hurt anything but a mosquito and only if it was messing with us and not minding its own mosquito business.  And flies, we could kill flies.  She taught us about the circle of life.  I saw so many things borne, live and die.  I saw her heal animals as if she were a licensed vet.
   So now I have 3 dogs, a giant oscar, and another tank with a sucker fish and a bottom feeder in it because I hate fish.  All the other fish in the tank died and I'd rather just wait out these algae eaters till they die and be done with the dumb ass tank.  I can't put them in with the oscar because he is mean and ornery and ungrateful to the point of tearing up all his tank decor and tank mates.  He's a big ugly fish in a big empty tank in my living room who swims around trying to take bites at my baby or one of the dogs when they pass by.  I hate animals, you'd think I'd love them growing up in Terri's Arc, but I don't.  I hate that I have pets in my own home as an adult.  I did it for my kids though.  I do so appreciate the values and lessons taught to me by my crazy mother and her menagerie of critters, and I want to pass those things on to my girls.  I love my dogs but I don't like them.  I flat out hate the fish.  He's lucky there's not a drop off program for fish or he'd be out of here.  I've been waiting 5 years for him to kick it.  So since I'm stuck in the be a good mama and teach your kids all the things pets can teach them scenario and all I can do is bitch about it.
     Another thing I freaking can't stand is having a crappy yard.  Now growing up on a quarter acre of wooded and grassy land, may have spoiled me, just like growing up with a claw foot tub ruined me for all other shower/tub baths.  But be that as it may, I have now a crappy yard.  I will give it some benefit of a doubt because we moved in in the fall and it is only just barely spring, but still the prospects are grim.  I really hope that when the weather gets nice and things start growing, I might get some grass for this mud pit I live in.  On the plus side, this is a big lot of property and when it is nice outside, I hardly ever have to see my kiddos.
   They are like my brothers and I were, perpetually outside till the sun goes down.  Throwing rocks, playing on the yard toys, exploring with their dogs....they love it.  I want to love it too.  I want a hammock for lazy days when I'm not working to lay in and read my Nook.  I want a little table next to my hammock for my margaritas.  I just fear it's going to take me actually going out there with them and actually working on the yard for me to get to like it.  I'd rather just bitch about it though.  Maybe, if I bitch enough, James won't make me help landscape.  I may be a country girl, and I wouldn't change that for the world, but I hate to work outdoors.  I hate to work indoors too, but I have to pick an evil right.
     I bought the kids bowls with straws on them so that they could drink all the milk left over in their bowls when their cereal is gone.  Ya fucking right.  I haven't had milk in my fucking coffee in ever!  I break down every so often and spoil myself with a bottle of coffeemate Italian sweet cream creamer because I can.  But otherwise, I just drink it black because the guilty mommy in me could never take away from her kids' milk supply even a tiny bit to fuel her caffeine  addiction, and when I do just take a little bit for my coffee to the last  drop, I feel bad.  Especially since I have so many cups a day.  So I yell at my kids every time I clear the table of bowls of milk left with soggy cereal in them.  The jerks could have drank the damn milk.  Especially with how they love to holler about being thirsty.  But no, mama throws out the soggy cereal and craptastic looking milk and thinks about another cup of coffee without the damned cream.  Just a drop in my coffee wouldn't hurt would it?  No, probably not but I don't want any of lucky's leftover charms floating in my Folgers either.  So I'll just bitch about it.  I blame their father.  The "I don't drink milk but I like cereal" jerk who started the whole mess by letting them think it's okay to not finish the milk since he doesn't.  I should cut his ass off the cereal completely and see how he likes that shit.  I'll only buy healthy cereal he don't like.  I doubt thats gonna work either.  See I'm back to just bitching about it.